


Agony

by Nymphcastle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nymphcastle/pseuds/Nymphcastle
Summary: Following the events of The Last Jedi, Rey leaves the rest of the resistance on Ahch-To while she searches the galaxy for a first order defector, offering information for a price, Kylo struggles with his inner conflict as the force pulls the two closer together.





	Agony

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings / Tags will change later, I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do.

 

 

Rey stared out at the black sky in front of her, the Kamino rain bringing a wave of sadness to the front of her mind for the first time in weeks. She had been busy and moving from the minute she and the rest of the resistance had left Crait. Barely taking a foot off of the Millennium Falcon to rest on Ahch-To before leaving yet again, in search of a First Order defector. There had been rumors flying around various cantinas in the galaxy, that a man by the name of Rhan Tovek had abandoned the Finalizer before the death of Snoke, selling plans, secrets, anything he could for a price. Rey had to find him, the Resistance would only be safe Ahch-To for so long, they needed to stay ahead of the incoming threat, rebuild their numbers, and prepare to fight back against.....him.

The image in her head danced between Ben Solo, the boy who had been failed filled with conflict and Kylo Ren, the monster who could kill his own father, who thirsted for power unlike anyone who had come before him. She slid out of the simple robes she had borrowed from Luke's stash back on the ancient island planet, digging her toes into the mud of the water logged planet she now found herself on. A few of the older Resistance fighters had told her stories of Kamino before she departed, it had once been a major player in the Clone Wars, their cloning technology used to create the fighters that caused endless war and destruction, after the war, the planet couldn't recover, it's technology became history, instead it became a hub of unsavory characters all looking for their next pay day, the rain drowning any sort of hope for the Kaminioans to once regain their place in the galaxy. Rey, however, felt a sense of emotional release in the falling water, it washed the dirt and sweat she had been gathering on her week long travels from system to system searching for Rhan. She let her hair down from the three buns it had been wrapped in, her brown locks now drenched and falling loosely over her shoulders as she leaned against the falcon, closing her eyes and letting her shoulders relax. She could feel the Force still pulsing through ever fiber of her body, pulling her in closer to her connection with it.

"Ahem" a male voice cleared somewhere behind her, the sound was fuzzy and distant, but the tone familiar. She felt her cheeks heat with rage and embarrassment as she grabbed at the clothing she had shed, turning quickly on her foot, nearly crashing into the dark haired face she had been avoiding in her head since Crait.

"get out of my head" she seethed as she slammed her eyes cut, his brown eyes widened slightly as he looked over the petite brunette, turning his head away as she pulled on the baggy tan trousers and loosely fitted top.

"Get out of mine" he spoke softly, focusing on something off in the distance that she couldn't see. There was a palpable pain between them, the force ebbing and flowing through each of their bodies as they made eye contact again. She wanted to say so much, anger and betrayal hovered right on the tip of her tongue.

"Rey" her name felt like needles as it came out of his mouth, she turned towards her ship, not able to bear the sight of his eyes anymore. 

"Why can we still see each other?" he asked hastily, feeling their connection waver as she moved further away from him. "Snoke is dead, why is the force still pulling us together" there was a look of genuine confusion as he spoke, trying to make sense of their bond, why it continued to happen, why it was getting harder to close off. Rey had the same questions but couldn't manage to ask them. She'd been ignoring his presence in her mind, feeling small moments of shared space and blocking them out before either of them had a chance to speak.

"I don't care, I just want you out" her words landed with a stinging venom she hadn't necessarily intended. She could feel his hurt as they faded from each others vision, falling into her seat, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She was angry, and exhausted and alone. Finn had offered to travel with her, but she knew his heart needed to stay with Rose while she recovered, Chewbacca had been ready to leave, but she had refused his offer as well, he needed to stay with Leia, there was too much grief between them, and she needed to do this alone. She needed time to sort through her own feelings and revelations, to train herself without any distractions. At least, that is what she had told herself as she headed out into the vast and dangerous galaxy. Part of her knew this would happen, these moments with Ben...or Kylo...or whatever he was now.

She didn't want to explain them, why sometimes part of her still ached to change him, to bring him into the light despite what he had done. She still didn't completely understand what was happening between them, what the force had in mind, she just knew she couldn't completely shut him out no matter how hard she tried. Exhaustion began to take its toll, sleep creeping up on her like an old friend as she made her ways to the small sleeping quarters, pulling a scratchy beige blanket over her shoulders as her eyes closed. She hoped she didn't dream, when she dreamt most nights it was of him, and she didn't have the strength to fight in her sleep now. 

...

Kylo looked at himself in the mirror in his private quarters aboard the Supremacy, still reeling from the force bond connection with Rey. He traced the scar that ran across his face with his eyes, a reminder of the first time the scavenger from Jakku had thrown him off balance. He wanted to hate her, for his resolve to kill her be unshakable, but it wasn't. There was something drawing him into her, something that kept him longing for one more second of their intimate time shared. He shook his head, refusing to let this no one take away what he had chosen for himself.

He removed his black over coat, letting it fall to the floor as he walked towards the attached Refresher in front of him, letting the rest of his armor and clothing slip away as he stepped into the hot water. The image of Rey in the rain staring back at him every time he shut his eyes, stirring something deep in the pit of his chest. He slammed his fist into the side of the shower, disgusted with himself, angry with her, fed up with wondering what could have been if she hadn't been deceived by the Jedi.

He looked at the crushed remnants of his helmet, now sitting beside his bed as he pulled himself from the steam filled refresher. Reminding himself of the power he now possessed, that he could do what Vader failed to do, to bring an end to the light, to take rule over the entire galaxy. Yet, there was still pain, it had been lingering deep inside him since Craith, unable to place it, a deep agony grew uncontrollably within his very mind and he couldn't free himself of it. They had to find the Resistance, he had to crush the rest of the fight against his reign under his boot like the bugs they were, even his mother...even her.

Rey's face flashed in his thoughts again, the disgust on her features made him feel sick. She was right, he was a monster, there was nothing he could do about it, nothing that could change what had been done. He redressed in a pair of black trousers, taking a moment to stare at the scar in his side from her anger, before falling back onto the white sheets of his cot. Closing his eyes and letting consciousness slip away.

_Ben._

_Her voice was soft, the light illuminating the room she stood in, flowers blooming around them, as she took a few steps closer. A simple white dress rested off her thin shoulders, the material swaying against the ground as she took her place beside him, her hand resting on his face._

_Ben, welcome home._

_He felt at peace, rested and clear headed as their lips met, there was no darkness, no light, no jedi, just her, just them. She laughed as two small children ran into the room, a boy and girl, twins, their black hair bouncing as they gathered around his legs, there was love, everywhere, filling his throat as she danced and played. His mother sat in the corner, her eyes met his and he felt forgiveness, acceptance. He caught a glimpse of himself in a glass window to the left, his hair shorter, his clothing a deep grey, his armor was gone, his lightsaber vanished, he was just a man. He looked back at her, brown hair falling in loose waves, eyes full of tears as she gathered the twins in her arms, happiness seeping from her hazel eyes as she gazed up at him._

_Ben._

Kylo shot up from his sleep, sweat dripping from his forehead as he looked around the empty room. "A dream, a trick" he whispered to himself, rubbing his temples with his hands. The light was lying to him, testing his resolve, showing false images, a lie perpetuated by those who would steal his power, take what was his. He pulled himself from the cot, slamming his fist into the wall again, his fingers throbbing with pain as he pulled them away. He refused to let himself feel this again, to believe in dreams as if they held real power. He pulled on his armor, opening the door to the main ship and following the hallway to the command room.

"Supreme Leader Ren" General Hux greeted him with a sneer, "We believe we might have found the location of the Resistance" the short redhead motioned to a planet on the screen in front of them. 

"Ahch-To" Hux continued, "We're prepared for hyperspace whenever you give the order" the general cast a gaze of doubt towards the Supreme leader. Kylo looked over the screen, still haunted by Rey's voice. 

"Go" he snarled, turning away from the monitors. 


End file.
